African families

Western families are defined both by our cultural background as well as by our Christian heritage. The family unit is generally seen as the parents and their children. The grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins falling into the less consequential extended family.

Culturally, and for a number of different reasons I don't have time to get into, Africans view family somewhat differently. Parts of what we would consider extended family are viewed as immediate family. Recently I was reading one of my father's books...Traditional Marriage in Zambia by Yizenge Chondoka. It had this to say about the African family:

"The other thing to remember about our traditional society is that family relationships that exist are very different from those that are in the European society. For  instance, one can have many 'mothers' besides the biological mother. This is because your mother's sisters are all you mothers. Your father's sisters are your aunts. Your father's brothers are your fathers. Your mother's brothers are your uncles. Your uncle's children are your cousins. The children of your mother's sisters are also your children: your daughters and sons. The children of your father's brothers call you father/mother. That is, they are your sons or daughters. Your sister's children call you (the brother) uncle. You call them nephew or niece. Your sister's children call you ( the sister) mother. Your brother's children are your children. You call them sons or daughters. They call you father/mother."

Glad I was able to clear that up for you. I had Mom help proof reading the quote and she says that not all of this is necessarily the case with the Kaonde. We sat down with our worker and hashed it out in more detail. Now Yizenge may be incorrect, but it could just be that he is from a different tribe. Here's what Clement had to say:

"Your mother's sisters are your mothers. Their children your brothers and sisters. Your mother's brothers are your uncles, their children your cousins. Your father's sisters are 'female father' (literal translation). Their children are your cousins. Your father's brothers are your fathers. Their children are brothers and sisters."

The society is patriarchal and matrilineal. That is, men are the head of the family but you inherit from your mother's brother who is your uncle. So for instance, if you are male and your mother's brother is chief you are in line for succession, not his own sons. In a society with a high mortality rate this close view of kinship works to ensure orphans are taken care of. It also means you are liable to attend many funerals. Something to consider when you think that twenty years, ago Kenya was set double its population in 18 years. I don't know about Zambia but I'm sure it was similar, but with AIDS it is about where it was then.